rayvyn2k | (no subject)

It's been a bad week.

I knew I should not have watched this Oprah show about domestic violence. The woman's husband had forced their son to videotape the abuse.

It was horrible. I couldn't stop watching. Everything that man did to her and more happened to me during my first marriage.

Watching the show triggered what I believe to be a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder type reaction in me. I have been crying, I'm hyper-vigilant, I've had "excessive startle response", nightmares to the point where I'm afraid to close my eyes at night and flashbacks to the worst period of my life.

My ex husband abused me emotionally and physically for the entire 2 1/2 years we were married.

He tried to kill me on our wedding night by crashing my side of the car into the back of a parked U-Haul truck. Obviously, he did not succeed, but to this day--I have trouble riding in the passenger side of a vehicle.

Things got worse from there.

So, it has not been a good week.

I wish I didn't have to go to work. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

{{hugs}}

I'll second the suggestion of a support group or counseling. Stuffing such feelings away works for a while, but they tend to sneak up and blind-side you. While very difficult, it may be better to drag them out - in the proper setting with the proper people - look at them and beat the things to death! Transfer the control off of them and on to you. And I know, it's easier said than done.

{{hugs more}}

This doesn't happen too often. Now that I know the potential trigger, I can avoid them, so I should be okay.

Thanks so much. :)