rayvyn2k | (no subject)

It's been a bad week.

I knew I should not have watched this Oprah show about domestic violence. The woman's husband had forced their son to videotape the abuse.

It was horrible. I couldn't stop watching. Everything that man did to her and more happened to me during my first marriage.

Watching the show triggered what I believe to be a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder type reaction in me. I have been crying, I'm hyper-vigilant, I've had "excessive startle response", nightmares to the point where I'm afraid to close my eyes at night and flashbacks to the worst period of my life.

My ex husband abused me emotionally and physically for the entire 2 1/2 years we were married.

He tried to kill me on our wedding night by crashing my side of the car into the back of a parked U-Haul truck. Obviously, he did not succeed, but to this day--I have trouble riding in the passenger side of a vehicle.

Things got worse from there.

So, it has not been a good week.

I wish I didn't have to go to work. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ray, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! *HUG!!* Have you looked into any support groups? I was thinking that there must be something along the lines of Al-Anon for women dealing with abuse. Is there a shelter near you? They might be able to direct you to places/people to talk to about what you are dealing with. I hope you feel better soon. *HUG, HUG* (If you don't know where to find a shelter - maybe if you call the non-emergency police line....they might be able to direct you to something.)

Thanks, I have my sweet, darling hubby and my family around...I'm sure I'll be okay. I just have to shove those memories back into the cobwebs where they belong.

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Honey, you know the answer to that question! Your homemade goodies are welcome anytime!

*hugs* I have no words. *hugs again*

Thank you, sweetie. Hug back atcha

All's I have to say is that I get headshots on target at the pistol range about 8 times out of 10, and it's a damn good thing I don't know this man's name or where he lives.

*fierce hugs for Ray*

It's OVER. You will NEVER have to deal with that again, sweetie. You are FREE.

(Maybe a good counselor could make you finally FEEL free, though?)

For all seasons,
Guernica

His name is Dennis and if I knew where he was I would tell you.

I tried counselling after I left him and I really don't think I got much out of it. I tried a psychologist, priest, friends...meh.

I'm feeling loads better now, though. Thanks. ;)

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened.

*hugs*

Lean on your dear sweet hubby. It will get better with time, and with the love of those close to you.

I'm sending good thoughts your way, for whatever that may be worth.

*hugs*

Your hugs and good thoughts are always helpful! Thanks. Perhaps we can do the chat thing some time this week--if I can wrestle the computer away from hubby who is playing a new game he bought...

{{hugs}}

I'll second the suggestion of a support group or counseling. Stuffing such feelings away works for a while, but they tend to sneak up and blind-side you. While very difficult, it may be better to drag them out - in the proper setting with the proper people - look at them and beat the things to death! Transfer the control off of them and on to you. And I know, it's easier said than done.

{{hugs more}}

This doesn't happen too often. Now that I know the potential trigger, I can avoid them, so I should be okay.

Thanks so much. :)