(no subject)

[rayvyn2k]

It's been a bad week.

I knew I should not have watched this Oprah show about domestic violence. The woman's husband had forced their son to videotape the abuse.

It was horrible. I couldn't stop watching. Everything that man did to her and more happened to me during my first marriage.

Watching the show triggered what I believe to be a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder type reaction in me. I have been crying, I'm hyper-vigilant, I've had "excessive startle response", nightmares to the point where I'm afraid to close my eyes at night and flashbacks to the worst period of my life.

My ex husband abused me emotionally and physically for the entire 2 1/2 years we were married.

He tried to kill me on our wedding night by crashing my side of the car into the back of a parked U-Haul truck. Obviously, he did not succeed, but to this day--I have trouble riding in the passenger side of a vehicle.

Things got worse from there.

So, it has not been a good week.

I wish I didn't have to go to work. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Comments

[starbb.livejournal.com]

Ray, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! *HUG!!* Have you looked into any support groups? I was thinking that there must be something along the lines of Al-Anon for women dealing with abuse. Is there a shelter near you? They might be able to direct you to places/people to talk to about what you are dealing with. I hope you feel better soon. *HUG, HUG* (If you don't know where to find a shelter - maybe if you call the non-emergency police line....they might be able to direct you to something.)

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I have my sweet, darling hubby and my family around...I'm sure I'll be okay. I just have to shove those memories back into the cobwebs where they belong.