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rayvyn2kSo sorry it took so long, my love. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: All characters are JKR's. I make no money, I just like to mix them up and let them play.
"Bondage Is No Problem" PG-13
HG/SS/LM and other assorted couples in the background.
~~~
Hermione's head thumped in time to the very loud music in the club. She sat alone at the table (by choice, thank you very much), and sipped the colorful cocktail in front of her. She wondered, not for the first time, how she had let herself be talked into attending. The celebration was Neville's stag night and Luna's hen night combined. Luna had called it their "Bevy of Deer" night, because, she informed Hermione, Stags and does go together--not stags and hens. It made sense in a Luna sort of way.
Hermione was the only one left in their immediate group who was still unattached (she and Ron had called it quits only a few months after the war--by mutual agreement). After she received the invitation, she had sent her regrets, with every intention of staying home with a glass of wine and a good book.
(Again, her traitorous and besotted brain reminded her. She shushed it and continued musing.)
Luna didn't play fair. She had sicced Neville on Hermione. Luna knew that Hermione hadn't been able to say no to Neville since she'd cast Petrificus Totalus on him during their First year at Hogwarts.
So, here she sat, by herself at a party she was guilt-ed into attending, and watched her friends dance.
The couple being celebrated were glued together in the center of the crowd, swaying back and forth. Completely oblivious to the music, they only had eyes for each other.
To their right "danced" Harry and Ginny, laughing hilariously at each other. Harry was enthusiastic but had absolutely no rhythm and Ginny's dance style was cramped by her advanced pregnancy. Hermione couldn't help but smile along with them.
On the other side of Neville and Luna was Lavender, who, Hermione admitted grudgingly, was the best dancer of the lot. Unfortunately, she was stuck with Ron, who danced like a giraffe under a Jelly-Legs Jinx.
Hermione chuckled, sipped on her straw, and was surprised to discover that she had already finished her second? or was it third? drink of the night.
(Third, her brain reminded her.)
Whatever number it was, she thought, it wasn't enough. She rose a bit unsteadily and wove her way through the crowd until she finally reached the bar. She squeezed in and signaled to the bartender. When he got to her, she ordered, but he shook his head, cupped his ear and leaned closer--indicating that she should try again a bit louder.
"Bondages' No Problem!" She shouted, just as there was a lull in the noise. The bartender nodded and moved away to fix her drink and Hermione hoped no one had heard and gotten the wrong idea.
That hope died when the man on the bar stool next to her turned, leaned in close to her ear and muttered in an undertone. "It's no problem for me, either, if you're interested."
He was obviously legless. Hermione turned with the intention of a) telling him to shove off; b) give the two fingered salute to the smarmy git and c)...well, she was a bit pissed herself, so she couldn't think of a 'c' at the moment.
It was a toss up as to who was more surprised, she or the smarmy git, otherwise known as Severus Snape.
Hermione diverted her hand to her hair, flinging it back from her face.
(Oh, THAT looked natural, scoffed her brain. SHUT UP, she told it.)
She locked her eyes on Snape's glittering black ones, leaned forward with what she believed was only a slight wobble, and said, "It's the name of a cocktail, Schnape--named after some git called Johnny Bondage in Jamaica. The drink is called 'Bondages'--with an apostrophe--No Problem."
Lucius Malfoy poked his head around Snape saying, "Did I hear a shultry voice shay bondage is no problem? Fantastic, Severush, old boy--you musht introduche me to...er," His eyes widened. "Miss Granger?" He tapped Snape on the arm and stage-whispered, "She did jusht proposihtion you, Severush--didn't she?"
Malfoy leaned on the bar in front of Snape and undressed her with his eyes. "I musht shay, Miss Granger, you're very shexy. And I alwaysh knew you were open minded, what with the whole Houshe Elf schutff and all."
He turned back to Snape, lowered his voice again and said, "I shay, do you think she'd agree to a threeshome? If not, can I watch?"
Snape shushed Malfoy as he pushed the blond wizard back to his own bar stool. "Merlinsh ballsh, Lushus you prat, shut yer gob. It'sh Mish Granger, not one of your ordinary tartsh! Shit back, put a shock in it, and do what you do beshed. Look pretty."
Malfoy mumbled something about his tarts not being at all ordinary, but did as he was told. He flipped his hair back, winked at Hermione then smiled his most charming smile.
The bartender came back at that moment. Hermione, thankful for the interruption and the opportunity to hide her flaming cheeks, lowered her head and reached into her pocket.
Snape laid a hand on her arm. "Allow me." He pulled several euros from the pocket of his jeans, paid the bartender, and then turned his attention back to her.
Hermione's eyes widened. Snape was smiling.
(Brain: Holy shit! Snape is smiling at you! And, gods does he look yummy when he smiles!)
(Well, leering was a more descriptive word for the expression.)
(Brain: Both of them are leering at you!)
(Holy shit!)
Hermione's body temperature soared and her drink-addled brain stopped talking and cranked her imagination up to smoking hot and X-rated. It showed her several suggestive things that could be done when you put together a blond, a brunette, a black-haired potions master, a large bed and assorted neckties, scarves and ropes.
Well, she was only human.
Hermione tossed back her drink, set her glass on the bar and then moved to stand between the two wizards.
She looked at Luscious Lucius and licked her lips. "Sheverus is right. You are pretty."
Then she turned and leaned against Sexy Severus, nosed his hair aside, put her mouth against his ear and murmured, "No, bondage is absolutely no problem. No problem at all."
~FIN~
Recipe for "Bondages' No Problem"
Ingredients:
1 shot Rum
1 shot Vodka
1 shot Gin
1 shot Triple sec
1/2 shot Grenadine
1 cup Cranberry juice
1/4 cup Orange juice
1/4 cup Pineapple juice
Mixing instructions:
Pour all ingredients into a mixing cup, cover cup with a lid and shake. Pour over ice and enjoy.
Creator/contributor's comments:
This is a version of a drink Johnny Bondage and I had in Jamaica. So get some reggae music on and have a few of Bondages' No Problem and get irie! It's no problem man!
(Author's note: As you can see, three or more of these will leave you legless, indeed!)
Disclaimer: All characters are JKR's. I make no money, I just like to mix them up and let them play.
"Bondage Is No Problem" PG-13
HG/SS/LM and other assorted couples in the background.
~~~
Hermione's head thumped in time to the very loud music in the club. She sat alone at the table (by choice, thank you very much), and sipped the colorful cocktail in front of her. She wondered, not for the first time, how she had let herself be talked into attending. The celebration was Neville's stag night and Luna's hen night combined. Luna had called it their "Bevy of Deer" night, because, she informed Hermione, Stags and does go together--not stags and hens. It made sense in a Luna sort of way.
Hermione was the only one left in their immediate group who was still unattached (she and Ron had called it quits only a few months after the war--by mutual agreement). After she received the invitation, she had sent her regrets, with every intention of staying home with a glass of wine and a good book.
(Again, her traitorous and besotted brain reminded her. She shushed it and continued musing.)
Luna didn't play fair. She had sicced Neville on Hermione. Luna knew that Hermione hadn't been able to say no to Neville since she'd cast Petrificus Totalus on him during their First year at Hogwarts.
So, here she sat, by herself at a party she was guilt-ed into attending, and watched her friends dance.
The couple being celebrated were glued together in the center of the crowd, swaying back and forth. Completely oblivious to the music, they only had eyes for each other.
To their right "danced" Harry and Ginny, laughing hilariously at each other. Harry was enthusiastic but had absolutely no rhythm and Ginny's dance style was cramped by her advanced pregnancy. Hermione couldn't help but smile along with them.
On the other side of Neville and Luna was Lavender, who, Hermione admitted grudgingly, was the best dancer of the lot. Unfortunately, she was stuck with Ron, who danced like a giraffe under a Jelly-Legs Jinx.
Hermione chuckled, sipped on her straw, and was surprised to discover that she had already finished her second? or was it third? drink of the night.
(Third, her brain reminded her.)
Whatever number it was, she thought, it wasn't enough. She rose a bit unsteadily and wove her way through the crowd until she finally reached the bar. She squeezed in and signaled to the bartender. When he got to her, she ordered, but he shook his head, cupped his ear and leaned closer--indicating that she should try again a bit louder.
"Bondages' No Problem!" She shouted, just as there was a lull in the noise. The bartender nodded and moved away to fix her drink and Hermione hoped no one had heard and gotten the wrong idea.
That hope died when the man on the bar stool next to her turned, leaned in close to her ear and muttered in an undertone. "It's no problem for me, either, if you're interested."
He was obviously legless. Hermione turned with the intention of a) telling him to shove off; b) give the two fingered salute to the smarmy git and c)...well, she was a bit pissed herself, so she couldn't think of a 'c' at the moment.
It was a toss up as to who was more surprised, she or the smarmy git, otherwise known as Severus Snape.
Hermione diverted her hand to her hair, flinging it back from her face.
(Oh, THAT looked natural, scoffed her brain. SHUT UP, she told it.)
She locked her eyes on Snape's glittering black ones, leaned forward with what she believed was only a slight wobble, and said, "It's the name of a cocktail, Schnape--named after some git called Johnny Bondage in Jamaica. The drink is called 'Bondages'--with an apostrophe--No Problem."
Lucius Malfoy poked his head around Snape saying, "Did I hear a shultry voice shay bondage is no problem? Fantastic, Severush, old boy--you musht introduche me to...er," His eyes widened. "Miss Granger?" He tapped Snape on the arm and stage-whispered, "She did jusht proposihtion you, Severush--didn't she?"
Malfoy leaned on the bar in front of Snape and undressed her with his eyes. "I musht shay, Miss Granger, you're very shexy. And I alwaysh knew you were open minded, what with the whole Houshe Elf schutff and all."
He turned back to Snape, lowered his voice again and said, "I shay, do you think she'd agree to a threeshome? If not, can I watch?"
Snape shushed Malfoy as he pushed the blond wizard back to his own bar stool. "Merlinsh ballsh, Lushus you prat, shut yer gob. It'sh Mish Granger, not one of your ordinary tartsh! Shit back, put a shock in it, and do what you do beshed. Look pretty."
Malfoy mumbled something about his tarts not being at all ordinary, but did as he was told. He flipped his hair back, winked at Hermione then smiled his most charming smile.
The bartender came back at that moment. Hermione, thankful for the interruption and the opportunity to hide her flaming cheeks, lowered her head and reached into her pocket.
Snape laid a hand on her arm. "Allow me." He pulled several euros from the pocket of his jeans, paid the bartender, and then turned his attention back to her.
Hermione's eyes widened. Snape was smiling.
(Brain: Holy shit! Snape is smiling at you! And, gods does he look yummy when he smiles!)
(Well, leering was a more descriptive word for the expression.)
(Brain: Both of them are leering at you!)
(Holy shit!)
Hermione's body temperature soared and her drink-addled brain stopped talking and cranked her imagination up to smoking hot and X-rated. It showed her several suggestive things that could be done when you put together a blond, a brunette, a black-haired potions master, a large bed and assorted neckties, scarves and ropes.
Well, she was only human.
Hermione tossed back her drink, set her glass on the bar and then moved to stand between the two wizards.
She looked at Luscious Lucius and licked her lips. "Sheverus is right. You are pretty."
Then she turned and leaned against Sexy Severus, nosed his hair aside, put her mouth against his ear and murmured, "No, bondage is absolutely no problem. No problem at all."
~FIN~
Recipe for "Bondages' No Problem"
Ingredients:
1 shot Rum
1 shot Vodka
1 shot Gin
1 shot Triple sec
1/2 shot Grenadine
1 cup Cranberry juice
1/4 cup Orange juice
1/4 cup Pineapple juice
Mixing instructions:
Pour all ingredients into a mixing cup, cover cup with a lid and shake. Pour over ice and enjoy.
Creator/contributor's comments:
This is a version of a drink Johnny Bondage and I had in Jamaica. So get some reggae music on and have a few of Bondages' No Problem and get irie! It's no problem man!
(Author's note: As you can see, three or more of these will leave you legless, indeed!)
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Date: 4/11/14 07:55 pm (UTC)/applause
And good lord, don't even contemplate apologizing, you've had Life +20 thrown at you.