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So, the previouslies yet again subject us to the "Luke & Margie exceeds expectations by winning the first leg" crap. Oh, and they have an alliance with the cheerleaders. GAH. We're on leg 3 now! And is it wrong of me to be thinking that this is the closest that Luke will ever come to actual cheerleaders? Yes? Okay, then. Next we see another recap of Mel's injury from episode 1-I think it's just an excuse to show the flying cheese wheels again-snerk. Christie & Jodi avoiding elimination twice.

I do like the new opening credits. Especially that they did away with that cheesy turn they used to make the teams do. Oh, and I'm glad they kept the (BOMP) at the end of the music.

Finally, here we are in Salzburg, Austria, the birthplace of Mozart. And I have to take a moment to just appreciate Phil in leather. Mmmmm, Phil.

( And away we go. )

Next week: Siberia!

...and I have to say it had one of the funniest tasks ever given to the racers...who knew that schlepping cheese wheels down a steep, muddy hill in Switzerland could be so hilarious?

I am going to try to keep up with the show this season...after I missed the last three episodes of season 12 and all of season 13...although if a couple of teams are not eliminated very soon, I may miss some of this season, too.

Love the new opening credits and graphics, but I miss the tiger. I recapped the best part of the episode above, so on to the teams.

Pre-hate goes to: Christie and Jodi with their lame-o "we can use our American Blondeness around the world and we will, OMG!" Have they actually watched this show...? That shit never works. The presumably "dumb" men of the other countries will oogle their gorgeous American breasts and then laugh at them when the women get frustrated that their "Blondeness strategy" didn't work. It never works. Just ask Kami and Karli or Dustin and Kandice. I really wish the producers would cast a female team that is not such a damn stereotype.

Steve and Linda but mostly Steve. Look, one of the reasons I've never applied to be on the show is because I'm smart enough to realize I am not physically capable of doing all the running, jumping, climbing, sliding, etc that is involved with TAR. However, if I ever lost my mind and decided to apply and was actually chosen, I would then begin to WORK OUT so that I could, you know, possibly try to KEEP UP. The one thing that would be made CRYSTAL CLEAR to my race partner would be that, during the race, there would be NO PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BITCHING at me if I fell behind or was having problems performing a task. Because if such a thing did happen, there would be CONSEQUENCES. DIRE CONSEQUENCES. These two people need to be off my TV ASAP. (And, seriously---hicks? That's your definition of yourselves? GAG.)

Jennifer and Preston mostly for his attitude toward her all "you aren't getting the last word"...which, whatever, douche. They were the first to go and I'm glad.

It's a Fine Line Between Hate and Like for Tammy and Victor...mostly Victor. He is trying so hard not to be condescending to his sister, it's almost...condescending. I have a feeling that the stress will get to him eventually and he won't be able to stop himself from blaming her if something goes wrong on the race. He stays out of the Pre-Hate column only because he seems to be trying to control his ass-hole-ish tendencies. And he did the bungee jump even though he was clearly terrified.

Brad and Victoria it seems a bit early in the race to be acting like jerks. There was no reason for the elaborate charade at the train station. What's wrong with just...not...saying anything...? Is there some rule I'm unaware of that says you have to justify your transportation choice...? However, they do get extra points for doing the cheese task without falling and for showing Phil their mud-free asses when asked.

In the Not Enough Airtime to Make an Impression column are Amanda and Chris, Cara and Jaime, and LaKisha and Jennifer. Usually this means these teams will be around for a while, so the editors didn't feel the need to show much footage of them during the premiere.

The Producers Really Want Me to Admire the mom and son team of Margie and Luke. And...I would like them better if they didn't feel the need to say: "we just want to show that deaf people can do anything hearing people can do" every time the camera was pointed their way. (Giving me disturbing flashbacks of Charla and Mirna from TAR 5. *shudder*) And...Luke could not hear the yodeling...the clue which lead the teams to the pit stop...so...put a sock in it, bub. You are doing great so far, and if the preaching stops, I'm sure I'd like your team more.

The Like list starts with Mark and Michael who are my favorite team so far. They are absolutely fearless and when they tried to take on 100 lbs of cheese each, that sealed my pre-love for them. I also loved how Michael swan-dived off the bungee platform. These guys are completely awesome and I hope they stay that way. ("We double for kids in movies"...HEE)

Mel and Mike ... gay son and gay dad...how awesome is that??? And Mel humping it down that hill on his ass with that cheese wheel on his lap was priceless. I don't think Mel will make it much further what with the groin injury and all, but I like this team very much.

And then there's Phil...*dreamy sigh* That man is still gorgeous. And huge props to him for signing to Margie and Luke that they were the first team to arrive.

Next week: food fight...? Seriously? And, in other news, Linda gets lost.