Ugh I'm already dreading it.
Jun. 19th, 2014 05:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rayvyn2kMy doctor talked me into scheduling a colonoscopy screening. I had the pre-screening appointment today, sort of a meet and greet with the doctor who will be performing the procedure.
To say I am anxious is to say that the sky is blue and water is wet.
I watched my husband go through the prep for his and I've never forgotten it. Now, I'm looking at doing the same thing only with less Gatorade. (I hate Gatorade.) So, I have to try to choke down that Miralax mixed with water. An entire half-gallon. 8 ounces every 15 minutes. TWICE. Next Wednesday. Fucking-A, I don't know how I'm going to accomplish it. I guess I'll have to hold my nose and hope I don't gag.
I really, really do not want to do this and I resent the hell out of being basically forced to go. (And yes, the doctor was so very helpful in explaining why it should be done, but that doesn't make me feel better about it. There's no history of that kind of cancer in our family and I resent the hell out of these doctors trying to scare me into doing something I don't want to do. Isn't it MY body? Ugh, just ugh.)
I may be more sensitive to people trying to make me do stuff with my body that I don't want to do because I lived with an abusive, controlling asshole for three years of my life. IDK.
Have I mentioned my anxiety yet? It's off the charts and it's still a week to go. I'm seriously in fight or flight mode right now.
No solid food the day before and water torture, followed the next day by nothing at all except a sip of water until after. Luckily, the procedure is scheduled for 7 am on Thursday. After, baby had better take me to get breakfast or there will be hell to pay.
To say I am anxious is to say that the sky is blue and water is wet.
I watched my husband go through the prep for his and I've never forgotten it. Now, I'm looking at doing the same thing only with less Gatorade. (I hate Gatorade.) So, I have to try to choke down that Miralax mixed with water. An entire half-gallon. 8 ounces every 15 minutes. TWICE. Next Wednesday. Fucking-A, I don't know how I'm going to accomplish it. I guess I'll have to hold my nose and hope I don't gag.
I really, really do not want to do this and I resent the hell out of being basically forced to go. (And yes, the doctor was so very helpful in explaining why it should be done, but that doesn't make me feel better about it. There's no history of that kind of cancer in our family and I resent the hell out of these doctors trying to scare me into doing something I don't want to do. Isn't it MY body? Ugh, just ugh.)
I may be more sensitive to people trying to make me do stuff with my body that I don't want to do because I lived with an abusive, controlling asshole for three years of my life. IDK.
Have I mentioned my anxiety yet? It's off the charts and it's still a week to go. I'm seriously in fight or flight mode right now.
No solid food the day before and water torture, followed the next day by nothing at all except a sip of water until after. Luckily, the procedure is scheduled for 7 am on Thursday. After, baby had better take me to get breakfast or there will be hell to pay.
