Depressed again

I hate being depressed. Lately I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm ultra sensitive to everything. I don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere, including both work and home.
Where else is there? I don't feel like going to work and I don't feel like going home. I don't want to work...but my place is so damned depressing, I don't want to be there either. We don't have room to put up a tree, and we are wary of putting up any decorations because our kittens are just so wild right now, they would probably just tear them up when we are not home.
I don't have any real friends here, so I'm really lonely.
My family is so far away and I miss them so much...(you don't have to call me, sis!) I wish we could go there for the holiday but we cannot afford it.
I'm not looking forward to Christmas at all. It (used to be) my favorite holiday, but now it just seems like too much effort and the day will not be like it is back home...so I just feel like "why bother?"
My husband bought two of my gifts in front of me, so no shocks there...and I love opening gifts and being surprised.
I won't see the kids or grandkids getting and opening their gifts...
Shit, I better stop now.