So Sick of being afraid all the time.

[rayvyn2k]

Well, the Boston Marathon Bombing triggered my social anxiety disorder big time. I made it to work yesterday and managed to stay half the day. Then made the mistake of clicking a link in an online article and seeing a horrific photo of one of the injured men which was unedited.

I cannot unsee it.

Last night, had to take a sleeping pill then this morning, I just couldn't muster the gumption to leave the house. *sigh*

I have to tomorrow.

This is getting really ridiculous, feeling afraid all the time.

In other news, I made bread today and I might find out the sex of my daughter's twins, if I'm very lucky. And Gregory promised to take me to the local pub on Friday, which is something to look forward to. (The doctor thinks they're boys, he's not certain, but we're still hopeful, for my daughter's sake there's at least one girl.)

I wish I could stay home all the time.

Comments

[shiv5468.livejournal.com]

Have you been to see the doctor?

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Yes. I have 2mg Valium tablets to take, but I have to parse them out slowly since he only gives me 30 for the entire month and on days like yesterday, in order to leave the house, I need way more than 1.

I think I need to get another doctor, perhaps. This one seems to want to refer me out to all the different specialists within the practice...which is why I no longer have pain meds for my back...because the so-called "pain specialist" didn't really seem to be helping me much.

It is what it is, as the saying goes. I'm going back in to work today and I have the pub and the cute bartender to look forward to tomorrow. :)

[islandsmoke.livejournal.com]

Definitely time for a change on the medical field.

Sucks, sometimes life does.

But the pub will be fun, and that's good medicine in itself!

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Hubby surprised me by taking me to the pub tonight and even tho it is his night off, Erik was there as a customer! So we got to spend some "personal" time with him, chatting about stuff. He is a amateur brewer himself and waxed on about his different beers. :) And, we're going again tomorrow, so that'll be fun. I baked a carrot cake with cream cheese icing to take in for the gang. I don't think I put enough sugar in, but I didn't want to smother the cream cheese...my first attempt. It's good, but there was barely enough to cover the cake. I'm sure there won't be any complaints, after all, free cake!

[duniazade.livejournal.com]

It's a good idea to see another doctor too.

*hugs*

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. But I'm used to this guy and *offers litany of excuses which basically boil down to=too insecure*.

I will have to ponder this for ages before I make a move. I didn't even GET this guy until I'd already lived here for 7 years...argh.