Same ol', Same ol'

[rayvyn2k]

Feeling blue today. I don't know why I still expect anything like support from my hubby. I realize it has only been three weeks, but I am sticking to the diet plan so far and have lost weight. (Have to get a new scale this weekend to see how much, but the clothes fit a bit better.)
So, last night, feeling good because I had done so well this week even with being sick--walking down the stairs at work and not going near the evil candy room--I said something about see how good I'm being? And got a sarcastic look and remark back. Not only that, he didn't seem to want to be very sociable last night at all. I finally just went into the bedroom and watched tv for a bit until bedtime. When he came to bed he was all snuggly like usual, but I was hurt and it took a long time for me to fall asleep.
This morning, I was still feeling bad, but I'm determined to get some of this weight off. He was all "Is anything wrong?" and I just passed it off as a sleepless night. No sense getting into the same old "you've disappointed me so many times" argument we've had endlessly. I realize I've said it before and have fallen off the diets, but does that mean that all support goes by the wayside until I "prove" I'm serious this time? It's very hurtful, but I will not let it make me backslide.
There's a Curves not too far from where I live and I'm thinking of checking it out because I've heard lots of good things about it. It will depend on the cost, frankly.
Guess that's all for now. Just had to rant a bit. Thanks for reading.

Comments

::big hugs::

[ex-justduch.livejournal.com]

Hey Ray! I just wanted to say how proud I am of you! It takes a lot to even make the decision TO start a weight loss plan...let alone begin and stay on it! As for going back and forth, we all have done that more times than we would like to admit. The main thing is that you have realized that you are not happy with the way you look and feel and you have set a goal to change your life.
Unfortuately, I learned the hard way about dieting verses makking a permenant lifestyle change. I too, have tried all of usuals, weight watchers, jenny, nutri-system, curves....you name it, I'll bet I have tried it over the years, none of which I can highly reccommend. The amount of change depends on the amount of weight you want to lose. After the birth of my daughter, I could really have lost 120 pounds and still been in a plus size. Just recently, [November], I heard an ad for Gold's gym on the radio guarenteeing a loss in six weeks. I said "what the hell, I have tried everything else..." So I went for it. I met a trainer there, who is anow a good friend that I regularly hang with, who sat down with me several times and layed it all out for me. He showed me what I should be eating and how much, what not to eat after certain times of the day, ways to prepare food healthier at home in a schedule that works for me...first. Chris explained that in order to achieve what I wanted, I had to incorporate diet and the dreadded excersize. sp? Anyways, once I learned that things like caffine actually MAKE you hungry and how to keep up my metabolisim without pills that sped up my heart rate, I began the long haul.
Would you believe, Chris told me that I did not eat ENOUGH?
He said that in order to keep up my meta and energy I first had to start eating breakfast, and then eat 4 more times in a day besides that! I was certainly skeptical, but it has actually worked. With that and the exercise plan that he designed for me, I have lost 47 pounds since joining in November. Any loss is STILL a loss and should be praised. It takes a HELL of a lotta work to do the things needed to get off weight that has hung out for awhile. So long as you are not hard/down on youself if you do not have a loss at the end of the week, or even if you cheat at 2 am on friday night. It has been proven that people will cheat at least 20% of the time.
As for the hubby, I don't know what to say.....prehaps he just does not want to see you get your hopes up to lose and only to have to see your pain like before when it has not worked out in the past? Or is that he is happy with you the way you are and thinks you should be too? Or does he really want you to lose weight and is nagging about it. I don't mean to pry...and you can ignore this and ell me to blow off. It's just the "you've disappointed me so many times" argument statement has me really upset for you. Well I have eaten up enough of your journal... I just really wanted to say BRAVO! for having the courage, strength and the will to go through with such a big change! And even more props for the loss! Actual pound loss is not always better than what your body is shaping up to be or how your clothes fit...remember that and you should never be disappointed. I send you HUGE hugs and lots of low-cal kisses!
Best of luck!

Re: ::big hugs::

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the boost, sweetie! I really appreciate everything you wrote and W00T! to the 47 pounds lost! I'm thinking of the Curves not for the diet but for the exercise. An online friend of mine is a member and says you get a great whole body workout in a half an hour. And hubby is just skeptical, with reason, I guess--but I really wish he'd lighten up a bit, is all.
Thank you and keep sharing your success stories!

[mongoluehring.livejournal.com]

Your decision to do this weight loss thing has GOT to be all about yourself, sweetie. Don't count on anything from your hubby, or from anyone else. The more you decide to dedicate yourself to living healthier, the more self-assured and "goddess-like" you'll feel, and the easier it will be for you to stick to your guns, no matter what anyone else does (or doesn't do).

You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to be happy. Curves is good - I know some folks here have had great success with it. :) It would be great if they could help you, too.

*snuggles*

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Donna the wise! You are right, it does have to me about me. I only wish I could have him on my side--even though I know he is, he's not acting like it. He's in the "prove it to me" mode, which I kind of get, but wish he wasn't so cold about it, you know?

Thanks for all the support, it means the world to me.
(Oh, and trivia last night ROCKED)