Well, that's that.

[rayvyn2k]

Got called into the manager's office today for a follow-up meeting. They did not warn me ahead of time that they were scheduling a meeting--so I was totally unprepared. I am not good at "off the cuff" discussions with higher ups. Because I freeze up, I get totally tongue-tied and I tend to get very emotional--so I wind up either in tears or angry silence.

Today was "angry silence" day.

They ganged up on me without warning. They said they had discussed what I had talked about with the manager last week and decided to leave things as they are "for now". They also told me that I was "flawless" on the email responses to the customers (their words) and "fantastic" on the phones. They also think that "one day" they think I will be "ready" for the responsibility of being the "email lead". The biggest reason they won't let me do it now? Because in the past, I have "over-reacted" and then "apologized". The occasions have been when several bombs have been dropped on me (and other reps) without warning...

I admit that I am a very sensitive person. I react strongly at times and I admit it, emotionally. But, I have been working on those areas and thought I had shown them through my recent actions that I have been working to change.

Apparently not good enough.

They had also heard that I am looking for another job. You know what? Tough. I don't have to drive for an hour to and from work to do a telephone job. There are plenty of those right in the town I live in. The biggest reason I have been making that trek has been because I loved the job I was doing.

Fortunately, State Farm, where my husband works, is going to be hiring again soon. Hubby actually got the job they offered to ME last year. The reason I turned it down? See above. But, it seems that my loyalty was repaid with smeg. So, I told hubby to let State Farm know that if they call me again...the answer will be "yes". So, he told HR, got the number and I called and also let them know myself.

So, guess I'll be starting over AGAIN. Maybe I'll win the lottery. I wish that would happen. Shoot, I don't even care if I win the BIG prize...I'd "settle" for a couple hundred thousand. Enough to invest so I don't have to work.

Anyway, that's what's happening now. I'm pissed and bummed. Just going to keep my head down, and do my job and nothing more. When/if State Farm comes knocking, I'm going to answer this time.

Comments

[islandsmoke.livejournal.com]

I have to keep this job until I get another one but, yeah, I'm looking.

Yes, that is the only thing that has keep me from walking out. I'm not really looking, although I should. Trouble is, while there are a number of things I'm good at, I'm not trained for anything.

I used to react very much as you did, but I'm getting better about letting my buttons get pushed.

*pours another round*

[rayvyn2k.livejournal.com]

Same here. I'm really good at lots of things, but either don't have the degree or the "experience" or the whatever. I'm hoping the State Farm thing works out because hubby and I are not the kind of folks who balk at spending lots of time together. So, it would be for the best.