It's no use...my icon lies.
Mar. 15th, 2006 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rayvyn2kI've tried and tried to distract myself...but it's really no use.
I miss my husband so much right now my heart just aches.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snegurochka_lee I don't know how you can stand it.
The night looms ahead, long, dark and empty. The house is too quiet. I'm a weepy mess and I know it's ridiculous because he'll be back tomorrow afternoon.
But there's still the night ahead. Long, lonely and too quiet.
I don't normally mind being by myself in the house--but usually it's only for a couple of hours while he's gone off on a geocaching run or something. At the moment I feel like half of me is missing. Time has slowed to a crawl.
I hate being alone like this when I feel so down.
I asked him to call me tonight. I hope he can/does.
I'm so pathetic.
I miss my husband so much right now my heart just aches.
snegurochka_lee I don't know how you can stand it. The night looms ahead, long, dark and empty. The house is too quiet. I'm a weepy mess and I know it's ridiculous because he'll be back tomorrow afternoon.
But there's still the night ahead. Long, lonely and too quiet.
I don't normally mind being by myself in the house--but usually it's only for a couple of hours while he's gone off on a geocaching run or something. At the moment I feel like half of me is missing. Time has slowed to a crawl.
I hate being alone like this when I feel so down.
I asked him to call me tonight. I hope he can/does.
I'm so pathetic.
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(no subject)
Date: 3/16/06 05:41 am (UTC)See, usually I adore having time to myself. But somehow, on Monday evening, I started thinking about all the bad things that could happen. Car accidents, the cops coming to the door to deliver the bad news...my mind just went to a very dark place. After all--anything can happen, any time. Look at what happened just yesterday to Hank Williams, Jr's daughters. (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/T/TN_WILLIAMS_ACCIDENT_TNOL-?SITE=WTVF&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT) So, when I start thinking like that, I try to imagine my life without him in it...and then I spiral downward and I get very, very afraid. My (very vivid) imagination takes over and that's that.
Thankfully, he called me last night and we chatted for a little bit. (This is a huge deal because he HATES talking on the telephone.) He was safely ensconced in the Embassy Suites hotel room (which he says is larger than our entire apartment) drinking a cup of coffee. Somehow, after talking to him, my fears calmed somewhat. (Oh, I still had to stay up until nearly 11pm to exhaust myself so I could sleep, but hey at least I didn't have nightmares.) I used his pillow as a substitute for him and managed to sleep pretty well.
I'm getting ready to go to work now and then I'll see him later. I can't wait!